(10) Open the Year with a Whimper: I closed 2006 by getting mauled (mostly on the face) by a recently rescued cat I was attempting to tame with love and good intentions. Oops. 2007 began with obsession over scars, anxiety attacks, mistrust of animals and the dark and then recovery some time in February. Good times. The scars are small and hardly noticeable, but there goes my modeling career. It’s cool, my pores are too pronounced for the business anyway.
(9) The BIG THREE-OH: Turning 30 wasn’t so terrible. I got trashed with work friends, came home and was extremely surly to my then fiancée. The next day a lucky few of us (my best friends included) were treated to the spectacle you see below. Never in my lamest dreams would I have imagined that MT was going to be that enjoyable. You just don’t get to shout out “Mace him in the face!” or “No Mercy!” in everyday life, you know?
(8) As Seen on TV: In February “Diet Megan” was born to the horror of loved ones around me. After my face healed I notice that somehow over the last 12 years, I’d really packed on the pounds. I then proceeded to unpack 23 of them just in time to walk down the aisle. It amazing what exercising and eating only what you need will do for a person. “Diet Megan” was a bit preachy and was prone to randomly show her abs to family members and passers by, but she’s getting much better. Gaining a little holiday weight helped, though I’m totally back in the gym now and I will challenge any of you to an elliptical machine race. You are also welcome to visit my gun show anytime.
(7) Sister/Housemate: Beck is frickin’ awesome and everyone that meets her knows it. A self-described “disaster”, her humor, patience, and zest for partying make her the best roommate I’ve ever had. She’s finishing grad school this year and we face her imminent departure from the household with a mixture of sadness and a sincere hope that she achieve all that she dreams. She’s good people.
(6) DVD Resurrection: Bless capitalism. The people demanded more and they got it. One word - FUTURMA. It’s the latest example of what happens when dorks, geeks and dweebs unite to fule their insatiable hunger for new media. God bless us – I mean them, everyone. (Please note that Bender’s Big Score is not the masterpiece we were all counting on. Let’s hope it plays better cut up into episodes. Nudist internet scammers using time travel to steal the world’s treasures? That is so 2003. It’s just not that realistic for 3005. However, it made my year and had to be included on this very wordy “list”. It was released at the end of November, but I had pre-ordered it in August.)
(5) Family and Friends: I have a ton of them and for the most part, they rock. I’m thankful for my one mom, two dads, one Bob, 3 half siblings, 3 grandparents, 20 aunts/uncles, 23 first cousins, quite a number of great aunts/uncles, countless other extended members and a whole pack of excellent friends. I’m even able to remember almost everyone’s name when sober.
(4) 5 Days in Frickin’
(3) The Events of the Season: One wedding, two parties, the blending of many many families. We did it our way and are so thankful that so many did so much to make it possible. It was the best June ever and our parents, bridal party, family and friends made it happen.
(2) Best Friend Squeezes One Out (sort of): Having a best friend is awesome. I am lucky enough to have more than one. And when one of them almost dies it’s not so awesome. This particular best friend and her husband welcomed a healthy giant, yet still technically premature, baby boy into the world and fortunately she got to remain here to spend time with them. Disaster averted, emergency cesarean successful. If I ever am afflicted…I mean…lucky enough to become “with child” I will never ignore heartburn or a gut feeling. Her awareness of herself saved her life. I credit the hours that we have spent on the phone over the last 15 years discussing our bodily functions and ailments.
(1) Being Married: Our IKEA cabinets are overflowing with gourmet kitchen gadgets, our 600 thread count sheets are better than most hotels and we have pots and pans that cost more than all of my clothing combined. That said we are completely broke and very happy. I’m still learning new things about my wonderful and sometimes peculiar husband. He makes me laugh everyday. He’s a keeper.