Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Idea for Poorly Translated Japanese T-Shirt, "Lady Baseball Player Awesome!"

The present and future of baseball. 2008 NL MVP, Albert Pujols (6'3", 230lbs) & the first woman to be drafted into professional baseball, 16yr old Eri Yoshida (weighs a lot less, but we hear she can pitch).

Let me start by saying that I really like Japan in general. The food, the people, the land, hell just the hot baths alone make it a magical place. But, along with their insanely polite society, wonderfully balanced food and environmental innovations they do some crazy shit - whale/dolphin slaughtering & overfishing, all those nasty war crimes, and they tend to treat the ladies not so great (like every other society at one point or another or presently). But, things are changing. Japan's birthrate is in the toilet because young women are simply preferring to stay single longer choosing to shirk social expectations and focus instead on their own happiness and fulfillment. Welcome to the 70's ladies! But who's going to take care of the old people? Robots, of course, but that is for another post, obviously.

And now Eri Yoshida has hit the baseball scene as Japan's first female draft pick and baseball-at-large's first lady player. Let's hope it goes well for Eri even though there is some talk that this could be a bit of a publicity stunt. Hopefully it won't turn out like it did for Leela on Futurama, who was chosen as a novelty one-eyed pitcher who never fails to peg the batter and not for her blurnsball ability. When confronted by a woman who genuinely should have been the first lady blurnsball player, it went something like this.

Leela: Jackie. I guess you were right. I'm a lousy role model. I'm sorry.
Jackie: No, don't be. It turns out you were an inspiration after all.
Leela: I was?
Jackie: Uh-huh. You were so awful that women everywhere set out to prove they don't stink as bad as you. You know, like a pig or something.
Leela: Oh, that's so kind of you. I guess I made a difference after all.
Jackie: You absolutely did, Leela. Now please, please retire. Immediately.

Yes, I realize I should probably get out of the house more and stop comparing all of life's events to Futrama. It's been a rough week, what can I say?

Yay, Pujols!!!

Oh, and please feel free to share ideas for your own poorly translated English T-Shirt that one might find in Japan.