Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Me want food!

In preparing for incoming house guests and visitors I have made quite a few trips to the local and very chaotic Whole Foods and Superfresh, or Smellyfresh as we call it. During these trips I have encountered the many city supermarket types that I'm sure exist in the 'burbs, but here the close quarters of everything makes them extra annoying. I've swerved past the clueless nature mom with 3 children who are probably extremely evil despite all the unprocessed food and soy-based products they are forced to consume. I've trembled with rage, white knuckles on shopping cart handle, stuck behind the boomer couple who proceeds to debate the virtues of flax seed meal bagels with the freezer door open blocking nearly the entire aisle AND fogging up the freezer doors for the rest of us who also might like the flax based frozen baked goods.

The other night I overhead this conversation between a 30 something and a butcher.

Lady: Can I get a half turkey? I have a really small oven.
Butcher: No, I can give you the parts that basically make up half a turkey, but I can't just hack one in half for you.
Lady: Oh, the turkey is for my brother and dad. I don't want any. Do you think they'd be OK with chicken?
Butcher: I don't know, chicken doesn't really taste like turkey.
Lady: Yeah, what about Cornish game hens?
Butcher: Well, they taste a bit similar, but they are usually not a replacement for turkey.
Lady: Huh, maybe I should call my mom? (Then Lady gets on phone at counter and begins speaking loudly to her mother.

It occurred to me on my most recent shopping adventure that we are entering the time of year when ritual and tradition suddenly and briefly become the focus of daily life. The preparations, the purchases, the gatherings all focused around the act of eating a meal together. But, I also realized that eating meals together is the focus of most of my days. I will often ask my husband the day before or perhaps at the conclusion of a nice Sunday breakfast, "So, what should we have for dinner?"

Yes, I am a Foodie. I love food. I love cooking food, eating food, thinking about food. I have a massive spice collection that is refreshed every 6 months and I have 3 kinds of pepper and 4 kinds of salt that I regularly use. So, as I was hauling my load home from the markets the other night, I had a fleeting thought - "Food is running my life". But then, just seconds later, "No, food is a huge part of my life. Wait for it...oh, food is life. Life is nothing without food and not nearly as enjoyable without really good food. Ah, excellent, me. Got that one settled."

So, as my final posting for this week before more family arrives and cooking begins and wine starts a flowin', I would like to plug one of my favorite shows. Duh, Top Chef. This week they do Thanksgiving...with the Foo Fighters as guest judges. Some of you know that this one hour of television combines some of my most treasured things about life - TV, food and Dave Grohl.

Have a healthy and happy holiday, fair readers. See you Monday!

How America Nearly Saw Barney's Junk

OK, confession time.

I watch How I Met Your Mother. Regularly. Like I DVR it and everything. And it's usually very predictably enjoyable with cute and quirky characters, semi-innovative structures and the wacky things that happen in a group of "Friends"- oh, sorry I mean, "friends" with a little "f". They have their regular bar, they never let new people into the group and Neil Patrick Harris plays the lovable lecherous Barney. And last night episode, entitled "The Naked Man", America nearly glimpsed his package.

Well, sort of. Sadly, I do not have a screen grab. I have not even begun to think about mastering that technology. So, you're going to have to scroll through to the last 15 minutes or so of this episode and judge the lowness of this shot for yourself. I mean they cut to Ted (also naked) and it's a regular sitcom "dude is naked but all the naughty bits are generously blocked by props and furniture" shot. But then they cut to Barney and it's like, "Whoa, it's 8:45 people. I can see how manicure NPH keeps his lawn. That shot is too too low. Too low to watch with your father-in-law sitting next to you low. Low.

The nakedness starts around 13:50 and yes, there are commercials.

p.s. NPH is tan. And I know, it's not that crazy low, but it's too low for CBS, right?