Monday, January 5, 2009

2009 is already so frickin' awesome...

Greetings, fair readers. I'm going to ignore the fact that it has been 16 days since my last post. But, I really appreciate you not calling or emailing me or reminding me of that over coffee the other day.

Anyway, as my 32nd year on this planet is recognized today I thought I'd take the time to acknowledge some already stupendous happenings in this young year of 2009. I've read a whole lot of top ten 2008 recaps and really don't have anything to add, so I thought I'd work backwards this year. Oh, and I could only think of 6 things. I haven't even thought about writing anything in 16 days, I'm rusty.*

6. Senator Al Franken: Looks like Al will officially be named as the victor later today despite the lurid and subversive comedy sketches he penned back in the day. Hey Minnesota conservatives - we've had an ex-drunken-cocaine-head as Prez for the last 8 years, a few wacky weekend updates weren't really going to swing this one in your favor. Keep your fingers crossed!

5. The "Amish" Heat Surge Fireless Flame: OK, some of you may not have seen this one, but it bears the Good Housekeeping seal of approval so apparently you are a cave dweller if you haven't seen the many ads. The Heat Surge is an Amish made cabinet with a revolutionary space heater inside that features a flame like appearance. But only days ago I saw a full spread in the Metro the other day, so this heater is sure to be the real thing and our answer to the economic crisis that is 2009. Call now while supplies last!

Nobody builds electric heater cabinets like the Amish...nobody.

4. Israel: Hey, Israel and Hamas, thanks for keeping things interesting. I was all worried that there would be a lack of bloody missile attacks and ground troop maneuvers in Gaza this year - thanks for taking care of that early.

Such a small slip of land, such big problems.

3. My Whatnot: Most of you have noticed my icon picture - a Muppet version of me. Well, this Christmas my dear husband gave me the means to create her at the F.A.O. Schwarz Whatnot Workshop. I have no idea why this is so exciting to me, probably because of something Freudian or something, but who doesn't want to own a Muppet version of themselves??!!

Only after I tell a few people how I'm going to photograph Muppet Megan in various tourist locations do I realize how truly weird this is.

2. Politics: The past few years have been ridiculous and the next few are going to be action packed. From a certain Illinois governor to the sudden premature resignation of another from New Mexico - it's going to be great people. Don't even get me started about Rick Warren speaking at the holiest day imaginable, the inauguration of the Messiah, oh, I mean the President.

1. Fat Oprah: I watched O talked about her fall off the healthy lifestyle wagon and then she proceeded to tell us how to get back on whilst reaffirming it for herself. 2009 will be O's year for a change. Let's all get behind her presently generously sized butt and show her the love she can't seem to show herself.

Apparently the first outfit was her super low point as she had to dance around on stage with Tina Turner and Cher - who are almost 10 years older and look super awesome. Being famous is hard.

*I promise, the next post will be better.