Tuesday, March 31, 2009

So Fashion Forward, It's Backwards

Theory Caliora Denim Leggings
  • Smooth cotton denim borrows its style from a rock-and-roll era. Front zip with hook-and-bar front
  • Top stitch detail at seams
  • Front slash coin pocket detail
  • Inseam, about 31"
  • Rise, about 8"
  • Cotton/polyurethane; dry clean
  • Imported

Hey, Saks Fifth Avenue, I just noticed something missing from your helpful bullet pointed description of these awesomely fashionable denim leggings...

the stirrups.

Remember how uncomfortable and unflattering these pants were? You basically had to choose between a low hanging crotch or a wedgie - they never just
fit because there was constantly pulling from the goddamn stirrups. And boy did they feel good on the arches while making the ass look totally un-mom like. My policy of never wearing anything I ever wore or thought about wearing in grades 3-12 still stands (mid 80's + mid 90's = not good). I'm OK with this updated 80's hipster style that's been happening for a few years now, although my grown-up job (and my age) prevents me from participating. But these pants...existing right 2009? God help us all. Somebody get me a pair of those plastic white Venetian blinds sunglasses, 'cause I can't bear to look.

Farewell, Mike and Mel.

Here's to doing things you've never done before.

Having DVR'd Sunday's Amazing Race, I only found out last night that Mike and Mel White were eliminated. Mike and Mel brought something special to this year's otherwise embarrassing race. While other contestants become infuriated at non-English speakers while racing through non-English speaking nations, compulsively bow inappropriately and/or treat cab drivers as if they were not human, Mike and Mel took the high road on this race around the world. And for that I say, "Good job, gentlemen. You've brought a bit of class to an otherwise abject world."

This was even better than when the flight attendant had to run through Moscow in a thong and sports bra, but for very different reasons.

Words I never expected to hear on reality television: "You've created a new archetype: the sinister deaf kid." The Race is really playing up how brave and incredible deaf contestant Luke has been through the race so far, even though [newsflash] plenty of folks actually live normal lives without being able to hear. Mike was so appalled that Luke chose to U-Turn a nonthreatening opposing team, he posed this cleverly crafted theory to Luke himself. And Mel's amazing attitude, despite being really old and having a pulled groin since challenge #1, was as inspiring as you can get on a logistically incredible though sometimes stupid show like this. The only people left to root for now are the culturally insensitive midget brothers or the sinister deaf kid and his best friend who is also his mom. What's a TV viewer to do?

So, thank you Mike and Mel. You were always present enough in this insanely amazing show to enjoy the ride, the people, the new places - almost too nice and cool for reality TV. If you had only followed the convoy of other teams on the way to the zoo and not listened politely to your cabbie who insisted that the giant gorilla statue was at the beach, which it wasn't. It could happen to anyone.