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Friday, June 5, 2009

You might want to keep some tissues handy...


If my parents had ever pulled this shit on me, I would have divorced them. Like 4th grade isn't stressful enough. Can you imagine not seeing your dad for a year, fearing every day that your mom could get the knock on the door that would change your family forever? Then, instead of allowing you to cry and process his return at home or in the car on the way back from picking him up, they put you on TV. No, this is not heartwarming; it's an exploitative distraction from actual issues. And it's one they love to use when this morning "news" show is in need of an upper.

Remember this one?



Wow, really creative intro too. Thanks, Today Show, for keeping up the hard hitting objective journalism so vital to the health of this great nation. I feel a swell of pride coming on, somebody get me a tissue.

Have a great weekend everybody!

Friday Fun - Mortality!


RIP, Grasshopper.

See the Way of life as a stream. A man floats, and his way is smooth. The same man, turning to fight upstream, exhausts himself. To be One with the Universe, each must find his true path and follow it. - Kung Fu, Episode 7


David Carradine died this week in Bangkok and it was probably a similar scenario to that of INXS' Michael Hutchence. It's very sad and our collective heart goes out to his family. Mourning the loss of a celebrity or someone unfamiliar is odd. It seems OK to pass judgment on their death's circumstances or even how it makes sense in the narrative of their broader career - whether or not the death seemed logical, made sense with the rest of the story. With Carradine the general consensus is "Oh, that is so sad and surprising (and a little creepy) but he did look mad old, I guess. How old was he? Kill Bill was awesome. So sad." At least this is how the total jerk in my head speaks; yours might be less of an asshole. But, if Iggy Pop died this week people would be all, "Oh, that is so sad. But, man that guy managed to last way, way longer than anybody thought, right? And he really maintained his physique - I wonder what his fitness secret was? Guess we'll never know."

Death.

Our relationship with the end of us is quite simple, yet humans sure manage to make it complex. At times, we obsess over the safety/health of our loved ones and most of us avoid risky behavior that might lead to it - all while watching lots of gruesome crime shows and movies filled with violence and a detached Hollywood style of death that is oddly enough deliberately designed to make us feel better about death. Real death is rarely portrayed accurately as that might make the audience feel icky and then they might not go out to eat after the movie and then our economy would fail (more).

When I croak, I'd like folks to say...
"Wow, she DIED? What was she like 110? Wow. So sad." or "Oh, yeah? No, I think she actually died last year." or "Hmm. Yeah, that sounds about right."

Of course, my kin would use my own Twitter account to make the announcement:
"Rumors of my death are totally true."
4 minutes ago from The Beyond

I only hope that the circumstances make sense and bring a close to what will hopefully be a long and moderately exciting if not generally interesting life. I'm glad to forgo a hot air balloon crash or shark cage malfunction for "home with loved ones" or "presumably lost at sea"(that's just what's they'll tell people, it would really be just "home with loved ones"). Perhaps my wish of a humble end only reflect my current fears of taking a chance on this thing called life. Probably. Whatever.

So when we reflect on the life of a celebrity like Carradine, let us be kind since that is what we hope for at the end of our lives of complete anonymity. Let us look past his acting style that confounded me as a child and probably turned me off kung fu flicks forever. He was really awesome in Kill Bill and had over 200 appearances in film and television. Let us only hope that should we go during an intimate situation with ourselves and rope that our friends and family will not be as deviously vague and quietly judgmental as the media is being this week...out of respect for the dead.