Movie Review: Daybreakers

I actually paid for a movie this weekend. Here's how it went...

Uncle Vampire Sam Wants you for his Vampire Army.

Never has vampire slaying been so explosive. No, that’s not a metaphor. In Daybreakers, brought to us by Australia’s Spierig brothers, accepted vampire lore (no reflections, sunlight deadly, etc.) has been elaborated upon by having the bloodsuckers literally explode in a cloud of flame or viscera when staked. It’s just one of the many grotesque and gimmicky traits that make it laugh-out-loud B movie fun. Sure, there are numerous wasted opportunities concerning plot and characters that keep Daybreakers from being a true stand out in the genre, but an Aussie camp and dialogue that could have been written for a SyFy Channel original movie provides a moderately engaging excuse for eating theater popcorn. Daybreakers is really dumb, hilariously and inexplicably sloppy as far as story is concerned, but there is little teen angst, so that’s a big plus. We are presented with a dystopian vampire world where humans are hunted and the few that remain struggle for basic necessities like food, shelter and bras. And it’s mostly an eye-rolling snicker-fest best to be enjoyed with friends and fellow audience members who don’t mind a little MST3K style audience participation.

Mutation on a pandemic scale quickly transformed the majority of humans on the planet into immortal chain-smoking night owls with a preference for Mad Men wardrobes and a craving for human blood in their coffee. But these vamps aren’t soulless killers; they’ve actually made a very organized, tidy and cosmopolitan world for themselves. I guess that’s what happens when society is united in one cause (drinking human blood), is disease free and has a whole lot of time on their hands. They apparently use this abundance of time to ensure that building exteriors and interiors are expertly lit, to upgrade their Chrysler automobiles to look and act more like the Bat Mobile and to trade human’s on their equivalent of the NYSE. The only real problems they are have are sunlight and the fact that there is only enough human blood left in the world to sustain the vampire populations for another month or so.

There are not nearly enough vampire scientists in movies lately.

Edward Dalton (Ethan Hawke) is head hematologist at the major human farm and trading company and personally dedicated to finding a human blood substitute. Ed’s sort of a half-assed vamp, abstains from human blood, and barely gets by on pig. He’s one of the few human sympathizers around and believes that finding a substitute will end human farming and allow for both vampires and humans to exist somewhat peacefully. So how lucky is he is gets into a fender bender with a group of humans on the lam? He joins the good guys much to the dismay of his very slick and equally as evil boss yet entirely one-dimensional, Charles Bromley (Sam Neill). A standard chase thriller ensues and a little family conflict between Ed and his vampire army brother Frankie (though it should probably just be called the regular army) and between Bromley and his human daughter. Oh, also these humans are lead by an Elvis obsessed Lionel “Elvis” Cormac (Willem Dafoe) and they just might have a cure for vampirism. This might actually be a good thing because the shortage of blood has caused some nasty side effects among the vampire population. Upstanding citizens are quickly becoming sub-subbers – gnarly mutants with bat-like features and absolutely no sense of style.

Joe from accounting is having a really bad week.

Daybreakers is a lazily constructed story filled with silly vampire shticks, American muscle cars and a propensity for flying appendages, scenes of carnage and probably used more blood bags than Peter Jackson’s Dead Alive and Romero's Night of the Living Dead combined. My first feeling after seeing it was, "Wow, I bet that took like 2 whole weeks to write."  It’s just so bad it’s good with choice lines like, “Being human in a vampire world is about as safe as bare-backing a $5 whore.” That pure poetry is uttered by Dafoe as “Elvis,” a former body-shop owner and human resistance leader. Dafoe should be B movie magic but he is just as underused and underdeveloped as the excellent premise of the film. Hawke is in familiar territory, but it’s good to see him in the lead again and great that he’s found a vehicle that allows for amply smoking, recalling every other movie he’s made before cigarettes were deemed box office poison. Maybe Avatar and Daybreakers are tying to make smoking cool and appealing again. Good luck with that. Hawke does what he can portraying this conflicted scientist who for some reason gets styled as Han Solo near the end of the flick - just one of the many delightful non sequiturs of Daybreakers. Hawke does get another juicy line, “Hey, life’s a bitch and then you don’t die.” Get it? It’s because they’re immortal! Hah! There is also an attempted love interest subplot and subsequently a thin, tough yet caring female character that are both not worth mentioning at all.

Daybreakers should have been more like an Ozploitation films of the 70’s and 80’s (The Cars That Ate Paris, Mad Max series), but with a mostly American sounding cast, its quirk and camp don’t sing like they should. This low-budget romp never takes itself seriously (unlike the current No. 1 movie), but disbelieve could have been more easily put on hiatus if the Spierig’s weren’t pandering to an American audience. While stealing from, sorry paying homage to films like The Matrix, Gattaca, and Smokey and the Bandit oddly enough, Daybreakers still gets a little originality across. It isn’t the fresh take on vampire/horror flick fans were hoping for despite a truly original premise, but it’s blood-gushing, bad-dialogue-spewing fun. Perhaps not worth the $10 unless you have an insatiable craving for synthetic butter and slow motion vampire feeding frenzies, but it’s certainly worthy of a spot on your Netflix queue for one night when you have an insatiable craving for a schlocky blood fest.

***/*****

Daybreakers
open now everywhere
Dir./Writ.: Michale and Peter Spierig
Starring: Ethan Hawke, Sam Neill, Willem Dafoe
Rated: R for "strong bloody violence, language and brief nudity" as well as obscene use of fake blood and heavy smoking even for immortals.